Kiss The Rain
by NoticeTheRainbow
Summary: What would be my purpose without the person the wind blew away while the whole chaos took form? What would be left without my last and only purpose of life?" - Sana
1. Chapter 1

_Kiss the Rain_

_By - Isabella Smith _

"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?  
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:  
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer's lease hath all too short a date . . . ."

- "Sonnet 18" By William Shakespeare

_"I felt my world's clashing into an unforgettable dusk of wind, that would forever leave me scared. Things like this aren't forgettable, none of it is, just like a natural phenomenon; where the screenings of the people dieing around you will forever be heard in you subconscious, and you powerless to stop it. I felt as if everything that once made me wasn't there anymore, me was gone; forcefully made into a solid and frigid being that crawled and spreads it's way inside me bit by bit, making me change, as if a transformation. What would be my purpose without the person the wind blew away while the whole chaos took form? What would be left without my last and only purpose of life?"_

_Chapter 1 - Light House_

_Arriving---_

I took a deep breathe of the wide open space before me and then let it out with the same delicate rhythm as my hair followed the winds chaotic beatings.

"Sana," Called our Rei "What are you doing over there? The rooms are all set and our stuff are well organized already. Want to come in and rest now?"

he suggested. I nodded then limped towards where he was. I had broken my leg in a car accident me and Mama were in. Of course, mama didn't have the luck I did in just fracturing her leg. Mama perished because her head took a severe hit that went straight to her brain and she just couldn't take it. Our home was just as beautiful and wonderful as I had remembered it. The house was white and there was a swing in the front yard that gave it a pleasant touch in an early morning.

"Our house is so far away from the other ones." I pointed out.

"I think privacy will do us some good."

I knew he was right. A loud musician next door would be no option I would take for myself to bear. I stepped in the house and looked around, eyeing everything and remembering Mama's foolishness with a few giggles now and then. I headed upstairs and walked inside my room. This place was the one that had the most memories.

Me and Aya used to play dolls here.

Me and Mama used to argue often here.

Me and Rei used to sleep in this bed together.

Akito Hayama stole a second kiss from me in this room.

I smirked at the thought, thinking of our childhood. The last time I had seen Akito was when we were just thirteen and now it's been four years. The memory of him seemed so distant yet clear and unforgettable. I smiled again, trying to hold it back a little. I wondered if he still goes to the same High School Fuka said she was in along with Aya, Tsyoshi, and Gomi. Then again, his father would always be moving from place to place because of his job so maybe I would never see him again. I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket then I grabbed it and answered.

"Sana! It's me!"

The voice sounded familiar and I tried taking a guess.

"Aya?" I inquired.

"No. Fuka, silly!" I laughed along with her.

"Give me your address!" she demanded. I huffed.

"Write it down." I gave it to her, repeating the street number so she wouldn't get confused.

"Got it!" she yelled through the phone. "Has Akito called you?" she asked.

"How could Akito call me?"

"Aya forced me to give him your number. If he doesn't call you then forget about it." I felt my knees weak and disjointed.

"Call me?" I echoed.

"I already told you, if he doesn't then forget about it." she persisted.

"But why did they want to give him my num-" she cut me off.

"But nothing. If he doesn't call forget about it. You know how he is." she pointed out. "My mom is calling me so I guess I have to go. See you." I hung up the phone then stared at it blankly, waiting for it to come alive again. I felt a sudden swarm of butterflies fluttering inside my stomach, giving me the urge to throw up. I didn't usually react this way towards any guy, yet with Akito it was different, it would always be different. All day I waited and waited for his call but he never did and the darkness of disappointment had sunk me but I still had some hope he would eventually call.

_School---_

I took deep breathes trying not to make them be heard then walked into class. "Sana!" A voice called out in a loud whisper. "It was Fuka and Aya calling out my name. A smile bloomed on my lips and I let free, letting it be able to be seen by many, yet understood by few.

"Ah, miss Sana Kurata. Nice to have you back in Japan. You were in our Elementary school weren't you?" asked my new teacher, Mr. Tanaka.

"Yes, sir." I smiled lightly then he asked me too take a seat. I grabbed an empty seat near Aya and Fuka then took a glimpse at them and another smile blossomed on my face.

Lunch---

"So do you like your teachers so far?" asked Fuka while we were in the lunch line.

"Yeah, Mr. Oriume seems aggressive, though."

"It's OK. I had him. He's only like that in the beginning." Aya said, trying to comfort me.

"Hey Aya, is Tsyoshi still your boyfriend?" I asked. I saw the heat rise in her cheeks after the question had escaped from my mouth.

"Yeah." she stuttered in a low mutter.

"That's good." I added with a warm smile.

"There they come." Said Fuka from behind me. I turned around trying to follow her gaze then finally noticed what she meant. It was Tsyoshi waving to us then giving a shocked look when his eyes were on me. Beside him was the person I thought I would never encounter with for the rest of my meaningless existence, Akito Hayama. "Sana!" Tsyoshi called out. I smiled then gigged when I saw he almost tripped on his way to give me a warm welcome. Akito looked surprised as well but he tried not showing it by covering his eyes with the blond bangs that usually always cover his bronze eyes when he looks down, I missed that part of him, so mysterious and reserved.

"Sana when did you get here?" asked Tysyoshi.

"Hadn't Fuka told you that I was coming back?" Fukastarted whistling then lead us to a table in the center of the cafeteria. I followed her then everyone followed me, including the speechless Akito. When we sat down I tried to get Akito's gaze on me to start up a conversation but he never did look, not once. And if he did he would only quickly look away.

"How's your life been, Akito?" I asked trying to break the tension that seemed to be killing me in secret.

"Same." he uttered.

"Is that good?" I wanted him to be more broad in his answer.

"Yeah." he ended.

"Good." I followed. Everyone had their own little conversation as I stared into space only thinking. I felt my underwear getting wet and I started wondering if I had already gotten my period. I grabbed the book bag that was on the ground next to my seat then got up.

"I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."

Bathroom--

Once I had changed my pad, I walked out of the stall and washed my hands. I took a good look in the mirror before I left, straightening my red hair with my hands and pulling on my shirt to look neat. As I walked out, I decided to grab my Science book from my locker seeing that it wasn't too far away. I might as well take advantage now that I'm here. As I was walking I found the same Gentle eyes I had been gazing at in lunch, right next to me locker. He looked up at me and the butterflies that once had fluttered in my stomach were back, ridding me from my hunger.

"Hey." he greeted, now more liberate of speech sense there wasn't anyone around.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I asked curiously.

"My locker. I came too get my books." He said as he pointed to his locker with he thumb.

"Oh. Yeah, me too." I said pointing to the locker that neighbored his.

I opened it while my hands were beginning to shake as my knees quivered. Once I had grabbed my books, I tried looking for something else so I wouldn't have to leave and go back with everyone else. I would rather stay here with him, in this quiet and tranquil hall, only with him.

I closed my locker once I had spent too much time looking for something I wasn't even looking for.

"Are we going back?" I asked him as he stared down at the ground. He was quiet and hesitant but I felt he had felt the sudden urge to speak his mind and heart out too me. I felt that's what he was trying to do now.

"Where had you been all this time?" he asked solemnly.

"Phoenix." I replied, trying to hold back my heavy breathing. He was quiet again, looking like his constant thinking was beginning to bother him.

"Sorry I wasn't speaking too you before. You know how they are." I understood him. He didn't want Fuka or Tsyoshi to start teasing us. I nodded.

"I understand. They never will get that there's nothing between us, though. They have that idea stuck in their head that they want to get us together and that we are a couple. If you ask me that's a bit-" he cut me off as he gabbed my wrists and binded me against the lockers, limiting my movements, leaving me unable to break free, he was to strong. He stared into my eyes with a pained expression. He inched closer too me, our faces a breathe away as his lips hovered over mine. '_Close the gap between them.' _I thought. But he pulled away.

"I'm sorry." he said looking down again, his hair covering his eyes. I felt disappointment again but with a hint of frustration.

"Why didn't you finish what you started? You always have, why didn't you now when I was ready and when I actually wanted too. Or is it only when you do?" I argued. He looked at me surprised noticing how much I had matured and grown in brain and body wise.

"Y-you wanted too?"

"I would've pulled away if I didn't, you were giving me enough time too do so." I pointed out. He was quiet again, so obviously trying to think things over but there was no response to his speechlessness. He inched closer to me again, not being as aggressive, as my back slowly touched the lockers just as before. This time I hadn't felt the surprise, even if it wasn't a surprise seeing he was Akito Hayama. I only felt that this moment was the only one I wanted to stick to for the rest of forever, for the rest of our forever. I felt his breathe now and I closed my eyes as I expected to feel the same warm lips as I had felt before when he had stolen those other three kisses from me. This one wasn't being stolen, though. It was being given wholeheartedly and undeniably.

"Sana?" The voice sounded familiar. We broke from our trance and I cursed the damn person who had ruined this moment. It was Fuka and I had second thoughts about that whole cursing idea.

"I'm sorry." she uttered.

"I'll leave you two alone now, sorry for interrupting the beautiful moment." Akito turned too look her opposite direction, stepping away from me again. I took a glimpse at her as she tightened her fists and marched out of sight around the corner. '_What's wrong with her?'_I asked myself in thought. I knew what she had seen had surprised her but mad? I knew Akito was and that he wouldn't dare try this again. At least not here.

"Akito are you free today?" I asked. He nodded in approval.

"Can I stop by your house to go see Natsumi and your dad. I miss them." I was honest.

"Sure. But they won't be home today. They're in New York because of another one of my dad's business trips, I didn't want to go." He answered.

"Oh. I'm glad you didn't, though. Are you having second thought?" I asked smiling while staring at the floor.

"Never." he answered.

"I think we should head back now." I grabbed his hand then we went, taking our time and walking slowly to treasure the moment and also to prepare ourselves for an explanation.

Back Home---

"Fuka did you tell anyone what happened? Everyone was quiet when we got there." I asked angrily.

"Of course not. You guys weren't even kissing and besides I'm not gonna spread something like that. So did he actually kiss you?" she asked seeming curious.

"No. All thanks to you." I pointed out.

"Well, I'm so sorry. I had no idea!" She said firmly.

"It's OK. I understand you didn't know."

"So, are you his girlfriend now?"

"I don't know." I replied.

"I think he's to much of a pervert for you. You are pretty immature." she pointed out. I sighed.

"OK. I'll call him right now." I was only lying too rid myself from her grasp.

"OK. Tell me the details later . . . Bye." I hung up the phone then had second thoughts about not really calling him. I wonder if Fuka was mad about what had happened earlier.

"Is she in here?" called a voice from the hallway. It was a strong and manly voice, not so familiar too me. My door cracked open and I peaked too see who it was.

"Sana! I haven't seen you in years!" It was the silver haired and blue eyed boy I had so dearly grown together too as fate slowly teared up apart.

"Naozumi?"


	2. Chapter 2

_Kiss the Rain_

_By - Isabella Smith _

_"We were strangers, starting out on a journey and never dreaming of what we would have to go through. But now here we are and I'm suddenly standing at the beginning with you."_

_-Donna Lewis_

Chapter 2 - My dear lost friend

"Where had you been all this time, Naozumi?" I asked still surprised and in shock. He looked the same as he had five years ago. Only he looked more muscular and had a much deeper voice now. I enjoyed it.

"I should be the one asking you where the hell you ran off too." He pointed out with a hint of play-fullness and frustration. I laughed and got up to embrace him into my arms, something I hadn't felt for so long.

"So tell me, what's been going on in your life for the past five years?"

"I found my parents." He confessed.

"Naozumi. Really?" I stammered in disbelief.

"Yeah. Their good people but they tend too care for me too much, more than they should. I don't know why, though, but I intend to find out." He challenged.

"You do that." I added playfully trying to break the chaotic atmosphere. He laughed.

"So how about you? I heard what happened with your mom." He said now more serious with a hint of pitty. I could feel the tears welling up on my eyes and I tried to stop them from rolling down but I couldn't.

"I'm sorry Sana! I didn't mean to make you cry." He said as he inched closer to me and grabbed my cheek.

"It's over now. No need to cry. Really." His words calmed me but the pain was still there, it had just turned transparent, for the moment. He looked deeply into my teary eyes and he looked calm yet solemn like he had finally reached peace and understanding. I felt I knew where this was going and my stomach started running around in circles.

"I'm glad to have you back with me." He pointed out with such a voice and facial expression that was hard to believe he had a dark side, he was being so gentle yet careful and vigil to my reactions trying not to make a mistake. He inched closer too me and I cursed Rei for ever letting him in or whatever he did that brought Naozumi over here. I couldn't stop him so I remained speechless, motionless, breathless. His lips now hovered over mine as Akito's once had but these lips seemed more relaxing and with no sign of aggression, whatsoever. He lips were on mine then, and I couldn't fight it. He kissed me and I kissed him back but not because I loved him but because I hadn't felt his presence for so long and it felt lonely and so I couldn't stop this from happening. He layed me on my bed as his tongue slipped into my mouth and our lips were sealed together.

_'What's going on?'_

I thought quietly while his tongue was getting hard to follow and his hands moved greedily towards my face as mine moved towards his. Something was about to happen, he was getting the wrong idea, I couldn't stop him. My phone rang and I tried to break free but he held a rough grip on me and continued to kiss me. I pulled away and sat back up.

"You shouldn't have done that." I said staring at his lips.

"You kissed me back." He pointed out and defeat quickly hit me as his words were facts, I didn't stop him. I grabbed my phone and answered it.

"Hey. I really had to talk to you." Said Akito from the other side of the phone.

"I can't right now, Akito. I'll call you later." Naozumi's expression turned hard once he heard the name and he got up then walked out of my room so obviously upset and betrayed.

"I'll call you back later."

"OK. I-" He was trying to say something so I tried waiting for a few more moments to see what would come out.

"I'll wait for your call." His words seemed gentle but it wasn't exactly what I had expected. The words I thought that were about to come out were a firm 'I love you'.

"Will it take to long, it's important." He asked a few seconds later while me speechlessness only grew more intense.

"Just a minute." I answered wholeheartedly.

"But I have too call you back later." I added.

"Are you coming over?" He inquired in a low mutter.

"I'll let you know." He was quiet for a moment.

"OK."

Sana's Front Yard--

"Naozumi! You were the one that kissed me! Now your all mad because I was talking to Akito?" He huffed then stopped to turn around and face me.

"You should have stopped me." He said firmly then turned back around and hopped into his car. I stared as it while it drived away in the distance. He was right. I did kiss him back. I had only hurt him and and now I'm sorry for it? I should have stopped that from happening. I'm an idiot.

"Sana! What happened?" called out Rei from our porch.

"Nothing. Naozumi had to go."

"OK. Then, you can come back inside now. I made dinner.

"OK." I ended.

When I was done with dinner I took a quick shower then headed back upstairs to change. I wore a black skirt and a light blue spaghetti strap shirt with black staps. When I was done I had remembered the phone call I had promised to give Akito in that minute that had easily turned into a whole hour!

"Sana?" He said threw the phone.

"Yeah it's me." I answered back.

"Sorry I took so long."

"It's OK." He answered.

"What was that surprise you said you had for me?" I asked not noticing how excited I truly was.

"I have to show you in person." He remarked playfully.

"Just tell me!" Curiosity and me did not make a good pair and it had the habit of eating my calm and lady-like manners away, if I had eny.

"Meet me at my porch and I'll show you. You do remember where my house is, right?" I laughed.

"Stupid. How could I forget?"

"Good. I'll be waiting for you." It surprised me how freely and delicately Akito was when there were no eyes watching, when there were no ears listening, and when there were no mouths present to remark unnecessary comments. It felt as if this part was only kept and reserved for myself too witness and to hide the beauty from everyone else. I couldn't help but feel special and valuable, that's how he made me feel. That's what I felt and it really did feel wonderful.

"Promise?"

"Promise." He vowed. After I informed Rei of where I was heading to he gave me a look but I ignored it. I ran to my garage and grabbed my bike and I was soon on my way. The wind blew hard on me and the afternoon sky looked so beautiful from my perspective, too beautiful for words to even describe. It's funny how strange life is. Who would have ever thought I would be dieing too see Akito and like this, a day like today. A day that we were reunited. Maybe we aren't a couple yet but a flower doesn't blossom without having gone through its stages yet. That's how I picture love, a flower, a flower of light and beauty and strength. You have to give it time to grow and treat it with delicacy because it can die easily. Not love but the heart, it can die with just a simple word. With a question, with the way a piece of music makes you feel, with a simple joke, a dream, a memory; you can feel all the pain in the world in a single moment.

Akito's Front Porch--

I hurried and dropped the bike on the sidewalk when I had reached the metal fence then opened it and rushed inside. I saw him there, waiting just as he had promised and a true smile blossomed on my face, just like a flower. I stopped in front of him and smiled even wider.

"I did promise." He pointed out.

"I know." I said sarcastically.

"So where is it?" He knew what I meant.

"How about we go somewhere first." He suggested. I was beginning to get annoyed.

"But you promised!" I pointed out childishly.

"I know. But I want to show you something else, too. After you left, I found that place. It's pretty cool." It sounded interesting and the thought of spending time with him was something I wasn't about to let pass by like nothing.

"OK." I ended. He got up from the wooden bench and asked me too follow him.

"I'll go get my bike." He informed.

"I have mine here. We could go on the same bike. It's easier that way." He nodded then followed me to where my bick was. He grabbed it then got on.

"Sit on my lap." He ordered. I smiled and followed obediently without any complaints. The air was fresh and the sun was a bright orange as it was almost about to reach sunset. I wouldn't want anything but this moment and nothing else. Momma dieing really was a hit to me but maybe it was suppose to be that way, maybe if mom would still be here, I wouldn't be here with Akito or had ever seen him again. Maybe, god wanted this for me. Maybe, life wasn't as torturous as I thought it was.

"The beach?" I asked him.

"Yeah. But there's more." he promised as I smiled.

"That's good to hear." He stopped the bike and we got off as he let it drop to the floor. He grabbed my hand then we ran as I followed him.

"Come on, it's almost sunset." he said running from in front of me. I only listened and followed. _'What's he trying to do?' _I thought to myself still running and gasping. We were running up some wooden stairs that were behind some vines that made them hard to see. Maybe that's what Akito meant when he said he found this place. The vines probably made it hard for the people to see this. There were trees and leaves over my head and to the sides and over us, the narrow way seemed like a circle.

"It's cool in here." I remarked

"There's more." He added.

"What more could there be?" He stopped and I felt dizzy, as if we were high up. He pointed to me and I followed his stare.

"You see that?" he asked me.

The sunset was in clear view and you could see from far under us the sand glistening as the sky turned a bright orange mixed with a light purple.

"This is amazing!" I was truly amazed.

"Isn't it? I told dad and Natsumi about it and dad told me him and mom came here once before she, well you known." I was quietly and so obviously thinking.

"Thank you." I finally came out.

"For what?" He asked me.

"For bringing me here. I would think you wouldn't wanna come because it would bring back sad memories about your mom but you still brought me to see this, so, thank you."

"How could I have memories of someone I never even met?"

"That's not what I mean. I meant in a way this place will always make you think about her and that would make you sad even if you try to deny it."

"I guess your right." he admitted.

"Thanks for the surprise." I ended.

"This wasn't the surprise."

"Huh?" I was confused. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a familiar silver watch.

"I had to give this back to you, I never did."

"Akito, this is-" he cut me off.

"Yeah." It was the watch I had lent him the day he went after the boy that caused his hand to become paralyzed for two years. I had remmembered that day like it was only yesterday and he had kept the watch this whole time.

"I had to give it back to you. You told me, remember." I smiled.

"Yeah. I remember." I reassures him.

"Good. Well, here it is." I took it in my hands then stared at it blankly with a smile and shoved it in my pocket.

"It's getting late and I should take you back home." He said more serious now.

"I might not wanna go." I admitted. He looked serious now and his face changed to a soft expression.

"I might kiss you." He warned for the first time, all those other times were without warning or consent.

"I might let you." I confessed.

He grabbed my cheeck then came closer to me as his warm lips reached mine. His two hands were on either sides of my cheecks now and my hands had moved slowly around he neck. They kiss had turned into a simple kiss from a passionate tongue twister you only see in movies. This kiss wasn't as others I had remember, it was different. It was free and no word could ever explain it. I wanted to stick to this moment forever but beauty like this never lasts forever. This is what it felt like, young love, so extraordinary. It runs through your blood like a virus but without the pain and the illness. They are shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity but in a flash, and when you least expect it, they are gone. I would work hard and make sure that me and Akito aren't separated by the wraths of life, because even if life seems unmistakable and extraordinarily lovely, it can also kill and make a fun of our suffering. I have learned that and have outgrown that little girl I unused to be, thinking life was all wonderful. I learned and I have grown and one day it'll all be worth the pain. I will make this young love long last forever no matter what _anybody _says because nobody else is worth more then the happiness of ourselves. Me and Akito, is what matters, it's what has always matter to me.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I hope you guys liked chater 2. It was much fun writing this one because here was more conflict going on. Write your reviews!

-IsabellaSmith, send Thank you's !!


	3. Chapter 3

_Kiss the Rain_

_By - Isabella Hayama (New Pen Name)_

_"__I love thee, I love but thee  
With a love that shall not die  
Till the sun grows cold,  
And the stars grow old."_

- Bayard Taylor

**Chapter 3 - Love Vrs. Temptation**

(5 weeks later)

Lunch--

Akito was quiet again but this time he didn't avoid my stare and often when Fuka, Aya, Gomi, or Tsyoshi weren't looking he would look at me and I would smile. If only Akito would smile back, the only time I had ever seen his smile was the day of a class feild trip when we were stuck in a big hole together. Never again did he smile, not once, not that I know of.

"What's wrong Sana? You look like someone crapped on your bed." Remarked Gomi as everyone looked towards me, including Akito staring at me in worry.

"It's nothing. Just lost in thought." I replied. His face softened and the worry was gone, he still looked curious, though.

"I wonder what you were thinking about." Asked Fuka, intrigued. I knew were she was going with this.

"Nothing, Fuka." I replied roughly.

After School--

Me and Akito weren't ready to tell anyone that we were a couple but we promised ourselves that we would tell them as soon as we got a chance.

"Rei isn't home?" I asked myself staring at the empty driveway.

"I wonder where he went." I added confused.

"Does he know about... us?"

"No, but he's suspicious." I replied.

"Well?"

"Oh yeah, come in." I laughed. I opened the front door then we walked in as I placed my keys on the key holder right beside the door.

"Seems the same as the last time I was here." He remarked.

"Yeah, not much has changed." I answered looking around.

"Well come on, I have math homework I might need help on." He huffed.

"Of course."

"What is that suppose to mean?" I argued in anger.

"Nothing." He was obviously being sarcastic, too obvious.

"I scattered my book on top of the living room table then sat on the rug and grabbed a pencil.

"How do you do this problem?" I asked. He explained then it started making more sense.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I started on the rest of the problems and noticed his disturbing stare only on me.

'What?" I laughed.

"I can't look at you?"

"It's not that." I answered, still giggling.

"He got closer to me then kissed my lips then my neck as he brushed my hair softly.

"I won't be able to do my homework with you doing that." I joked.

"It doesn't matter." He said in the few seconds his lips were free. He continued kissing my neck as he inched closer and layed me down on the rug. I closed my eyes and left my homework for later and returned the lovely gestures. This french kiss seemed to be hinting more desire then our last tongue twister.

"Akito.." I moaned but he didn't listen. He stopped then sat back up while helping me get up, too.

"I'm sorry. I lost control for a second. It won't happen again." He vowed.

"OK. Unless, I want to, of course."

"Yeah. Unless you want to." He replied playfully. When we were done with my homework we sat on the couch and watched a movie while eating popcorn then Rei came along with two familiar people.

"Asako? Shimura?" I asked in confusion.

"What's Hayama doing here?" Said Rei eyeing him while Akito eyed him back.

"Nothing. What are you guys doing here?" I got up and hugged them then parted and asked the question again.

"They'll be moving in with us." He replied.

"Really? That's so good to hear! I missed Shimura and Asako could be... my second Momma." I felt the tears but I fought them and won successfully.

"Yeah... I could be." Said Asako in understanding.

"Nice to finally meet you, Akito. I've heard so many good things about you." Said Asako, eyeing him in a friendly way, unlike Rei.

"Same here." he said looking at me while smirking.

I knew that in his mind he was saying something like this; _'So you talk about me, huh?'_. I smirked to myself but he noticed and continued smirking.

"Oh yeah, Naozumi called. Oh, and you got a colledgescholarship in Phoenix and there are new job offers across the boarder, too." Said Rei to me but staring at Akito, waiting for a reaction.

"Sana. I think I have to go. Dad and Natsumi might get worried." He got up then kissed me and walked out. That was his intention, for Rei to see him kiss me.

"That little twerp." He said angrily.

Front Yard--

"I'm so sorry, Akito. I didn't tell you about the colledge thing and the new job offerings. It's just been so much to handle sense mom died and I'm just so-" he cut me off by pressing his lips to mine.

"It's OK. I understand you have things to do. I don't mind. Just promise me you won't ever stop loving me, that's all I ask for."

"I promise you." I vowed with my heart and soul taking over.

"Good. That's all I want from you, that's all I'll ever want from you. The rest is up to you, even if I did almost loose control today." He said almost seeming like a joke. I smiled then kissed him and then he went.

Back inside--

"Sana, you have to start thinking about those job offers and the scholarship back in Phoenix." Said Rei from the kitchen.

"I'll think about it, eventually."

"You have to start thinking about it, now." he ordered. "It's six years of colledge and you'll have your very own dorm! You have to start thinking soon, graduation is right around the corner. You know that, right Sana?" he inquired repeating the same things over and over again throughout the day, trying to convince me.

"Rei, I'll tell you when I'm ready. There's alot I have to think about. I don't want to be away from Akito enymore, you know that more then anyone else."

"Stop thinking about him and think about yourself! Your studies, Sana!"

"Akito is part of me. I wouldn't be able to go on anymore without him." I answered sincerely.

"It's just young love, it'll fade Sana. Time heals every wound." He reassured words that to me would never be facts but only lies and fake assumptions.

"Your mom would want this for you." He challenged.

"Mom would want me to be happy and no more then I could give to her!" I argued but I couldn't get through to him. It surprised me how much he had changed after mom's death but I guess he was only trying to protect me. At least, that's what I hope it was.

3 Weeks later

Sana's Backyard--

"So, your a couple." Fuka remarked as we swung ourselves on the swing. She was quiet and wouldn't talk much, and it was only after I had told her about me and Akito.

"I knew it. That was the first thing I thought about when you first showed your face in our classroom, Sana. I thought about you and Akito." added Aya.

"Sana! Phone for you!" called out Rei from inside. I followed then grabbed the phone.

"Hey Sana. It's me." Naozumi.

"Hey." I simply said.

"I heard about you scholarship."

"Yeah, what about it?" I asked.

"I got one, too. In the same colledge. Westfield University, right?"

"Yeah."

"Are you planning on going?" He asked me curiously.

"I don't know yet." I answered.

"Well, when you do give me a call."

"Yeah, OK." This would be another good reason why I shouldn't go to Westfield instead of a university near here, even though Westfield is the best in the whole country or even farther across the boarder.

Back outside--

"Was it a ghost from the past?" asked Fuka.

"Sort of, it was Naozumi." I answered solemnly.

"That's what I meant. You still talk to him?" She seemed like she really wanted to know, I wonder what she was planning.

"Not always but I do when he calls. That's not very often but I guess you can say we often talk." I explained with detail.

"Oh. That's cool."

A month later...

Akito's Porch--

I dropped my bike then opened the gate and ran inside.

"Akito!" I ran to him and embraced him as he grabbed me and kissed me, my back slowly touched the wooden front of his house and he continued to kiss me. After some second he placed his hands on my breasts and my mind felt foggy and unclear.

"Akitos is that Sana?" called out his father from inside his house.

"Wanna go somewhere else?" He offered as I nodded.

We hoped in his new truck he had gotten for his eighteenth birthday then were on our way.

"Where are you taking me?" I giggled.

"You'll see." He joked. I grabbed his hand then closed my eyes and waited.

"What is this?" I asked in confusion.

"Isn't it beautiful?" It was an old and used house. It's paint was pealing and the windows were broken.

"Not really." I joked.

He got off the truck as I followed. He grabbed my hand and we ran inside.

"This house. I'm gonna re-build it one day and make it a dream house. There's a big room upstairs and I might use it for my karate practice."

"What about me?"

"What about you?" He asked.

"Can't I choose what should go on around here, too?" He nodded.

"Of course, Mrs. Sana Hayama." I smiled sincerely and felt more refined with the special name he had just called me.

"I want the house to be all white and a presidential porch and a small room for me to paint. With a window, of course."

"That will be all, miss?" he joked.

"Yes, sir." I smiled.

"Good." He added. I came closer to me and kissed my forehead then my lips as he scrolled down to kiss my shoulders and my neck. I giggled.

"Your always doing that." He didn't listen to me and continued to kiss my neck and pulled me closer to him. I put my hands around his neck and closed my eyes, feeling desire creeping up on me again. I couldn't hold it back, I wanted him. I wanted all of him, forever. Him and me, everyday, forever.

"Make love to me." I stammered not believing what had come out of my mouth, it was obvious that that was what I truly wanted, but now? He stepped back a little, not letting me go, and stared at me blankly but with the same desire burning in his eyes.

2 hours later...

Old couch in the living room house--

He layed me down and I was half undressed. He kissed my shoulders and then my lips while I was having second thought about what I had said.

"Akito, I know that I told you to make love to me but your gonna have to not belive me for this one." I stammered with my head fogging up while my eyes were nothing but a haze.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Sana?" he asked me again.

"I don't know. It just feels like I'm dreaming. I don't know if I truly should." I said speaking out my heart.

"If you think that then we shouldn't." He offered but I nodded.

"But you want, too."

"That's because you do." He pointed out but I shook my head again.

"It's late already. I can't turn back now."

"There's still time, Sana. We haven't gotten here, yet."

The front door flung open and Akito quickly threw an old blanket over me.

"Akito!" Screeched Tsyoshi in surprise.

"Get out of her Tsyoshi!" He screamed.

"Look I'm sorry, don't hurt me, but Rei and the police are looking everywhere for Sana. I knew you guys would be here, so I came to tell you!" He rushed out of the house with Akito, leaving me to get fully dressed again as I panicked.

Sana's front porch--

I ran inside with Akito right beside me and I suddenly felt I could take on Rei and his insults.

"Sana! Where the hell were you? It's 2:30am! You were out with Akito? Where?" The questions kept coming but I only grew more quiet every time.

"He only wants to protect you, Sana." Asako remarked but I didn't listen to her, this was going to far, Rei was.

"Come into the kitchen to talk, Sana." ordered Rei and I listened.

Kitchen--

"Where were you?" He asked again.

"Akito wanted to show me this old house he plans to re-build when he's older and make it into our dream house." He replied to him, seeing his veins starting to pop out.

"I can't have you loosing your virginity, Sana. Your still a little girl! What would everyone think if you got pregnant?" He scolded but I paid no attention.

"Your gonna force me to move you out of here." He reassured.

"You can't do that to me! Your not my father!" I yelled, Akito was probably listening.

"That boy is nothing but trouble! He's no good for you! I want what's best for you and nothing but that!"

"Akito is best for me. Rei, I love him!" I was sure Akito was starting to feel sympathy from my situation.

"What about your studied? Your dreams? Your career? You future, Sana!"

"Akito is my future and everything else in my life. You can't do anything about that!"

"We'll see, you'll see what I can do about that." He seemed like he was planning, no, plotting something against me. Against Akito.

"I don't care!" I heard the front door slam closed then I ran to follow.

"Akito, I'm sorry! All this got to out of hand." I said running after him then grabbing his shoulder.

"He's right." I was confused. _'What?' _I thought to myself.

"I'm not right for you. I don't have money. I don't have the personality you would like for me to have, I don't smile at you everyday like you deserve for me to do because I can't give those things to you. I'm not for you, Sana." He explained as I thought it meant nonsense.

"I love you that way and I wouldn't want you any other way!"

"But the way I am, is not what you deserve. I also want the best for you. The best thing for you is to go to college and fulfill you dreams and to handle your career, I'm only holding you back." He made no sense to me and it felt like a nightmare, what was he trying to tell me?

"I think... the best for you... is if we... break up."

"No! No, please don't say that. Akito, stop hurting me." I pleaded but he ignored me with pain written in his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Sana. I don't know what other option there is."

"Staying with me would be another good option!"

"What about College?" He challenged without the will to want to.

"I'll live with you and find a college near here."

"That's the best college there is, I'm not gonna hold you back." He ended while the pain and anger took control of me.

"Fine! Leave you bastard! Leave already! Get out of my sight you son of a.. just leave!" He stood there as I hit him several times then got in his truck as I kicked it and left a dent.

"Leave!" I stammered and felt I could take control again.

"Wait. Akito, it's not over yet, right? Akito! Were still not over! You'll come back in the morning and everything will be OK! Akito, you'll come back for me!" I yelled but it was no use seeing his tuck drive away.

"You'll come back, right?" I was in complete lone now and fell to my knees, scraping them a bit.

"You'll come back, because you love me and I love you." I started shaking because of an odd cold, a new cold I hadn't felt when we were outside together earlier. I only felt warmth with _him._

"It's not over for me." I told myself not really in assurance.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The chapter was pretty dramatic. I liked it ;). I had fun writting the ending and stuff. Review, Pleaseee??

-IsabellaHayama Send blessing !!


	4. Chapter 4

_Kiss the Rain_

_By - Isabella Hayama _

_"What lies behind us and what lies before us_

_Are tiny matter compared to what lies within us."_

_- _Ralph Waldo Emerson

**Chapter 4**

_**Bedroom--**_

I opened my eyes to the morning sun, which I for one would want to hide from, light had no meaning anymore. I Jumped up looking around in confusion wondering if it had all been a nightmare or just painful reality. I heard rustlings, chairs, and people talking downstairs and throughout the whole house, curiosity had been born. I hopped out of bed and grabbed my slippers then rushed downstairs. There were moving trucks and our furniture was no where to be found.

"Shimura? What's going on?" I asked still weary. She didn't respond and only gave me a look.

"Shimura? Answer me." I pleaded. She was a bit hesitant but answered perfectly.

"Rei, he ordered moving trucks. Were moving back to Phoenix." I felt my life falling apart, everything became a haze and Akito was beginning to rain through my mind like a storm without an end.

"Rei!" I yelled searching corner to corner of the house until I found him.

"What are you doing? We can't leave!"

"Sure we can. That's why the movers are here to help us." He said sarcastically.

"I won't go!" I argued but this had no affect to his decision.

"Your still not an adult yet, and until then, you will do as I say. I'm sorry, Sana but I'm doing what's right." I looked over at Asako with begging eyes, like a dog.

"Please, Asako. Convince him to let us stay."

"I can't, Sana." She replied wearily.

"Please." I stammered.

"I Can't." She persisted.

"Please."

"I'm Sorry." She ended.

I ran outside and I could hear his voice from behind me call out my name.

"Sana! If your not here in an hour I'll send the cops for you!" He insulted me with his words, sense when had Rei been so cruel to me?

_**Akito's Font porch--**_

I hurried and knocked on the door, trying not to pass my one hours curfew.

"Sana?" Answered Natsumi.

"Is Akito here?" I asked trying not to waste eny time.

"No. He said he needed a break and went to Hawaii with dad in another business trip. They'll be back in a week, not to long, right? I didn't want to go because my boyfriend lives here and I've been away from him for to long. Wanna call him?" she explained and offered at the end. No use, I wanted to see him before I left and ask him if we were really over, it couldn't be over. It's not over for me. I need to see him_._

"No." I answered in a low mutter.

"Natsumi, please. I need you to do something for me. Tell him to find me and to write to me back in Phoenix and to call me. Tell him that for me, it's still not over and that I will be waiting for him. Tell him to wait for me, too. Tell him, that I'm moving back to Phoenix because of Rei and that I won't be able to see him in a very long time, a year or two. Tell him, I love him." Natsumi was surprised.

"O-OK." She stuttered.

"I'll tell him, don't worry." She hugged me and I hugged her back then I left, leaving my memories behind me and only taking pain and remorse as my company. I would want him and no body else.

_**1 Week later...**_

_**(Natsumi's Perspective.)**_

_'I can't believe how bold Sana turned out to be.' _I thought as I washed the dishes. I have to tell him about Sana as soon as he gets here.

"Were home, Natsumi." Called out my dad as he slammed the door open. I had the sudden will to tell Akito about Sana, this feeling wasn't new but it had been born again.

"Akito! Hurry, I have to tell you something about Sana." I called out drying my hands quickly.

"What about her?" He asked trying to sound care-free but his worry was evident. I explained everything with detail and his eyes suddenly burst with anger, yet, with a hint of sadness and regret.

"What did you do to her for her to say those things." Me and dad both questioned him but he only looked down while those stupid bangs of his, that I want him to chop off so badly, covered his eyes. He ignored us and ran outside without eny comment or reason. Those two really are in for it, I just hope that they just get over all that drama and give each other that love and time that they so long for and deserve. I know my borther loves Sana, it's evident. You only have to look deep in his eyes when someone says her name and you could see it, the fireworks flow through his eyes. I just hope they'll be OK, I hope he will be, too.

2 years later--

(Back to Sana's perspective.)

_**Dinning table--**_

The air was thick and the rain from outside the large window was making my vision foggy and a haze. I tried blinking several times so it would go away, but it was no use. Akito hadn't wrote to me or called me ever sense I left Japan. I had been loosing hope recently, but I had to think that Rei changed my number and Akito didn't know where the hell I lived in, in Phoenix. I would be free once I reached my 20 birthday which was in about two months. I had been expecting this day ever sense I left my memories and it would almost be here. That day Rei won't be able to stop me. I had finished college earlier then expected and job offering weren't coming in as much as they used to so everything would be perfect! I had been a little frightened in seeing Akito again but I longed for it.

"Aren't you hungry, Sana?" asked Asako.

"NO." I said through my teeth, ruthlessly. She had no blame for anything but I had to take my anger out of me some way.

"Your getting very slender." She remarked out of pity.

"I don't think that's your problem." I scolded.

"Don't talk to her like that." Scolded Rei.

"Shut up!" I yelled.

"Sana, don't force me to . . ." He stopped.

"Force you to do what? Slap me again? I don't care." I was running low in patience. These last two years had been nothing more than studying with my tutor, job offerings, piano practice, free time to paint, homeschooling, and eating; which I barely did.

"Your tutor is here." Pointed out Shimura, staring at me and Rei.

"OK." I ended more calm . . . now.

_**Sana's room--**_

"OK. Now the next problem." My 22-year-old tutor was fairly handsome. He had pitch black hair, green eyes, a deep voice, he was muscular, and had the heart of an angel. He resembled Akito in a way I didn't know how to explain properly but the only thing that Akito didn't resemble with Edward Koizumi, my tutor, was that Akito had dirty blond hair with hazel eyes while Edward was the complete opposite. Also the age, Edward was 22 and Akito was only 20, so far.

"I don't get this one." I explained. He laughed.

"That ones easy." He remarked as I giggled with him. I enjoyed his presencebecause I only laughed when I was with him and I would only smile when I would paint. Those were the only two things that kept me from breaking down, and the hope of seeing Akito again then rushing to his arms as he embraces me back. That had been my dream ever sense I left Japan.

"Makes more sense now?" He asked as I nodded. I dropped my pencil and as I reached for the pencil my hand met his while he tried to get it for me. Our heads had also bumped into each other, it was pretty laughable. I started giggling and it seemed that my giggling had been contagioues because he started laughing right after.

"That was priceless." I joked while he only nodded, his laughter didn't let him speak his mind.

"We have to be careful next time. I might accidentally kiss you when we bump face to face one day." I started laughing sarcastically and grew a little more serious while I cleared my throat. He continued laughing and stopped right in front of my face.

"It might actually happen one day." He said with our faces a breath away. I didn't answer. He quickly leaned in an inch closer and our lips were sealed.

_'What is he doing?' _I thought as I pushed him away.

"I'm sorry." He apologized, I only nodded, accepting his apology. He stared at me for a couple of second then grabbed his suitcase and left.

_'Will I ever see him again?' _I thought. I hope I hadn't lost another thing valuable to me. I hope he doesn't leave like Akito had. I hope that there still is hope in my life in general.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Uh-Oh. Has just knocked on Sana's door? Will she forget Akito? Will Rei except him? What has been going on in Akito's life so far? Find out in the next chapter! Still need a way to go! Thank you for reading!

_- Isabella Hayama_


	5. Chapter 5

**_Kiss The Rain_**

_"I've learned that people will forget what you said,_

_people will forget what you did, _

_but people will never forget_

_how you made them feel."_

-** Unknown**

**Chapter 5**

I know I've had a lot to deal with recently, these past two years but I'm not going to say I'm the unluckiest person alive either. Because I'm not. I've just been a bit unlucky recently... that's all.

I've had so many commercials this year and I just finished filming a movie with Naozumi. I thought a lot about Hayama thoughout those three months but I couldn't let myself suffer so much because I knew I had to make my heart listen to me and my mind to stop thinking so much. I've also had so many photoshoots it's overwhelming. Everyone can't stop talking about me, Naozumi and his new girlfriend because we seem to be over all the other actors. Naozumi still had some feelings for me but only because we had a lot of history.

He met this girl, Sakura. She is really nice and they make quiet the pair. Every magazine talks about how their the cutest couple ever and they are. They met in a commercial shoot and after that all they've thought about was each other. He really loves her and I'm glad because Naozumi was like my brother and I loved him. He deserved happiness.

So things are pretty much the same at home, disagreeing with Rei for every little thing just for the pleasure of upsetting him. I'm not saying I hate Rei it's just that... he's making it really hard to love him, that's all. He's doing all this for my own good. Next year I'd be twenty and like he promised he would support whatever decision I would make... He'd have to understand that I'm smart enough to know what is good enough for me.

He had made a pact with me. I could leave when I had been eighteen but I would have only gotten his hate in result of that. He promised me that he would support enything I would want or any decision I would make if I promised him to at least stay until I was twenty. That way, I knew how to think like an adult and I wasn't blinded by young love, and of course, I accepted. I loved Rei from the moment I had thought of him as my brother. I didn't want to have him hating me for the rest of our lives and it would only be two more years.

I wasn't a child anymore and he would have to find some way to be able to live with that. I mean, I know he loves me and I know I would never be able to hate him so... I'm going to live with this for the time being because I'm tired of being angry all the time. It's not in my nature to hate and I know I can't continue this any longer.

"I'm sorry for the way I've acted these two years, Asako." I whispered the apology, hoping Rei wasn't anywhere in hearing range. She seemed aghast and overcome with suprise, and somehow narrowing her eyes in suspision. "What do you want?" That was nice, no one trusted me anymore. I guess I hadn't been very smart to let the trust everyone had in me disperse in the coarse of the past two years by my actions.

I had held a grudge on her because she could've stoped Rei, or done something but she barely spoke. She had never even tried to reason with him but I hated to hate so what was the point of continuing it if it never had brought me enything but lonliness.

"Nothing. I just understand now that when I'm twenty no one will be able to stop me from the things I know are best for me, so, I have no reason to keep acting like a subborn child. Rei will be the same and he'll support me like he promised. I know better now because it hasn't brought be anything good through out all this time. I'll be twenty not too long from now. So, well, you know. Sorry."

She still seemed suspicious because I'd been I'd been completely unreasonable for so long as anyone could remember this year. She really didn't know if she should trust me or doubt me. This could just be another trick I was ploting. But I wasn't.

"Alright. It's OK. And your right, you'll be eighteen sooner than you expect and than nothing can stop you." It seemed like she was against the way Rei had thought out my life so far but she had no choice but to try and live with his decision because they were married and they had to support each other and, well, she loved him. And he wasn't exectlly killing me, only my heart.

"Thank you." Shimura walked in the main room of the house where we were on the sofa, offering some treats; cookies she had baked for Rei and Asako's anneveresry. She was the only person I hadn't disrecpected so our bond was stronger than ever, seeing she was the only person I could actually trust right now, the only person who I still believed in. The only person I had left because Hayama was so far away I couldn't count on anything anymore...

"Your tutors here." The words caught me by surprise. I hadn't seen his face in a few days after he had accidentally kissed me. I think...

"Alright, see you than Asako." She smiled at me, still unsure. She seemed like she was in deep thought but I payed no attention to it and went to where I was suppose to be now. I found him in my room then, rumaging in his suitcase desperatly. Only taking out two worksheets which didn't fit the way he had been searching in that small space.

"Good Afternoon." I greeted with a smile I didn't often use anymore unless I faked it. He looked tired and in dismay. "Are you alright?" I asked, a bit worried about him. "Yes. I'v just been worried about my, um, my dog." He had a dog? "What happened?" I asked, seating myself beside him. "She's been sick..."

"Oh. That's too bad. It'll probably just pass, I'm sure." He smiled but it seemed forced, is there something I was apperantly missing? I shook it off when he handed me my assignment for the day. It was math, I couldn't stand math . . . it was very difficult for me. "Need help?" He knew this because I always needed help with math.

As he explained it I realized something, they were the same questions from the lesson we were learing in my math class two years ago. That day Hayama had come home with me to help me out because I knew I couldn't do it on my own. That day he had kissed me like no other day, passionatly because that's what people do when they love someone...

I felt alone now, the way I knew I had been deep down, somewhere I had tried to ignore for a while now. My heart. It was screaming at me, telling me what I already knew and what I needed no reminders of. I missed Hayama and what scared me the most was that if I went back, things might not be the same. He had probably moved on by now and he had forgotten me...

Why would I want to go back to find out if I was right or wrong? Maybe I should stay here forever like Rei thinks best for me and let him guide me because apperantly he knew everything best. I'de been more famous than I've ever been now and only because of him so why should I not listen to him? He has given me everything. A home, shelter, food, new experiences, new possibilities. Why did I have a grudge on him for taking me? Maybe Hayama wasn't right for me because he probably always hated me...

Maybe he didn't love me enough to wait. He hadn't even sent me any messages. I'd secretly told Shimura to send him my address and my number after three months here and accoring to the mail man it had already been recieved. He didn't want me anymore because he never had. I'd always been that annoying girl that involved heself in what wasn't her buisness. The girl that bothered him. The girl he probably just talked to because he just wanted to make her shut up. That's what I was convinced he thought of me.

"No...no...no..." I felt the hot tears running down my face as I stammered the words, barely being able to speak or breath because the pain of betrail and the truth had hit every one of my nerve points. He didn't want me, he hadn't even tried to call me, he didn't even want me when he had left me the night before he knew Rei didn't want me with him. He wasn't there when I needed his hugs the most. He hated me...

"He-he... hate... doesn't- never..." I could barely speak. The pain of memories I shouldn't have been thinking about made me cringe as I fell to the floor, balling myself because maybe that would keep me from falling apart. I was sivering like the night he had left forever, the night I knew my life had changed, the night I last saw him. Edward was afraid to touch me, he only came closer, his hands inches away and unsure.

I closed the gap, throwing myself in his arms, trying despretly to wash all my hurt away but it was barely working because I knew the only person that could wash it away was thousands of miles away from me and probably just forgot me. I felt even lonelier now.

"P-please. Can you d-do something for me?" I begged, pleading for a fast enough answer. I could barely stand what was eating me away anymore. "What? What do you want me to do? One second I'm giving you your work and then you suddenly colapse. What happ-" He was talking to much so I just pretended he had agreed to console me.

I came closer, crashing my lips to his, hoping that he would return it and to my suprise he did. I pushed him closer, not allowing any gaps. He was sitting on the floor now while my knees rested in the carpeted floor on either sides of him. I sat myself on his lap, still building the kiss that was intended on making me forget. My hands were on his shoulder, running up his neck then gripping on the strand of his hair.

He noticed my effort then placed his hands on my new hips, gripping on them securley as if he had wanted this for some time now. The kiss was long and full of lust. His tongue had reached places I hadn't opened up to anyone since the last kiss Hayama had given me.

Pulling away for air I stared into his eyes. There were intense, not tired or in need of air, they were just there waiting for more. I was happy to oblidge when my lungs were ready enough. The kiss had deepened even more than the last. He pulled away abruptly, I thought he needed air but I was wrong, he pulled away by will of himself not his lungs.

"What are we doing?" Why was he asking this? I didn't want any questions, I wanted to keep forgetting and as far as this goes, it's working a bit. "I thought it was obvious but were kissing."

"No, no. I mean . . . why are we kissing?" I thought about that, about the reason but the reason would only bring back more memories I wasn't yet willing to remember so I shook it off like dust.

"You don't want to?" The question caught him at an ambush and he shook his head, running his hand through his hair. "Then...?" I was still confused but suddenly it's like he didn't want to think either so his lips were back on mine in confusing ways.

Only now did I realize how pathetic and desperate I was being. This was what I had to do to forget? Make out with my tutor, my teacher. The person I had to be bound to because I hadn't gotten enough schooling because of my job as an actress. I was using him and that hurt me, not enough to let go, just enough to make me hurt in new way but I didn't care enough right now. My pain was much greater than any pity.

I wanted him to keep holding me because right now that was the only reasonable escape I saw attainable at the moment. The fastest way to forget was to kiss him for as long as I could and so it went on because in reality, there was no concrete reason to pull away. . .

* * *

New Chapter after so long! How many moths has it been? Five or six? I'm not sure... but I do hope you enjoyed this chapter. Still need some more to go so stay tunned! I'm still searching for the faces of Sana and Hayama and Edward in this story but they'll come around. if you want to help me go ahead and send me a messege of the faces you think can be Edward, Sana, or Hayama. Don't hold back!

- Karina Galano ...


	6. Chapter 6

**_Kiss The Rain_**

_"I've learned that good-byes will always hurt,  
__Pictures will never replace having been there,  
__Memories good and bad will bring tears,  
__And words can never replace feelings."_

_- Unknown_

**Chapter 6**

"Goodmorning." It was Edward by my door. I rendered him a smile of delight and he took it in with the same joy trancending in his eyes. He sat down on the computer chair on my deskwhile I got up from my bed and sat next to him.

He had been coming a lot early these past few days as if he cound't wait any longer to come. As if he anticipated our lessons with anxiety. I couldn't say I didn't even though the reason was confusing. He would come every day and at one moment or another we would start kissing, pulling aside the tutoring for later.

This had become a rutine I had no problem with and he knew this. I tried making it as evident as possible. I didn't regret it either, I didn't think I would be cheating on Hayama anymore because I knew he never loved me and he ended us the day he left. The day I thought I would never forget.

"What about thi-" He cut me off when I looked up, inching closer as he placed his warm lips against mine. When he backed away just a bit to witness my reaction I added, "It can wait." And pulled myself back to him, holding his neck forward to make sure he would back away again.

I began to get up from the seat, placing both my legs on either sides of him so I'd be seated on top of him in the small of the wooden computer chair. As soon as I knew it I was panting, deepening the kiss when I tilted my head to get more of him inside me. I felt his cool hand running through my back, lifting my shirt a bit to grip on the soft skin of it. His hand were going higher now and resting on my upper back, pulling me closer to him without a reason. Of course, there was no reason to any of this.

I placed one hand on his broad shoulder while the other gripped on the loose strands of his hair. He went to my cheek, to my chin, going across to kiss my jaw and then kissing my neck. I felt the hot of his tongue also joining his lips and bit my lip so I wouldn't make a sound even though I wasn't very successful.

"The work?" I asked right before his lips were blowing gracious kisses on my chest right where my heart was. It soothed it, mending the wounds that were still bleeding after two years. "You sure?" He whispered. I gripped his hair again, not responding, and held him there right over my heart. It's the place I needed him the most right now.

He continued as I felt the smirk within one of the many kisses he had been rendering to my heart. I exhailed because I hadn't breathed since he had begun on my chest then took in another loud inhail. "We should get back to the work, though." He pointed out, staring at me now intently but with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah." I responded in unimportance. I slowly back away from him, sitting myself back on my seat after I had kissed his lips one last time for today . . . probably.

I heard a knock on my door then grabbed a pencil and pretended I was writting. "Come in." It was Rei. "Sana, um, I have to speak with you." I sighed once, a deep exhail. What had I done now?

I got up from my seat, shooting a glance at Edward's worried expression than smiled at him in reassurance. I stepped out of my room, closing the door behind me. "What is it? Can't you see I'm studying?" It felt wrong to say that especially since I knew I hadn't been doing much studying at all.

"It's important." He sounded worried. "There's this really important job offering. It's a large acting company that wants to sign a contract with you. You'd have to make commercials for them for a whole year but the pay is good and you could finally get the car you've been wanting and pay off to buy back your mother's house. You'r going to need it for the future. It's what your mother wanted, remmember? For you to buy off the house we lived in back than if we ever moved out."

I knew what he was talking about. But why did he sound so against it? It was obvious he wanted this because if not, he wouldn't bother telling me about it. But why was he acting so hesitant? He should be estatic. I knew he missed Mama as much as I did. I knew this.

"Their going to pay you so well that you could possibly retire by the age of twenty-one. That's how well taken care of your going to be if we do this." He wasn't even speaking to me anymore. He was arching his back against the ivory of the wall, staring at the ground with his hands in the pockets.

"Why aren't you happy about this? I'm not going to quit acting but I'd be beneficially secured for the rest of my life. There wouldn't have to be any worrying about me possibly not being as popular in the future and becoming the poor lost idol. I'd be secured for the rest of my life." I had to repeat that last sentance to him twice. He still seemed a little dizzy though.

"Your right." I still seemed unconvinced, though. He looked up at me and smiled wearily. "Besides. Your almost twently anyway." What did that have to do with anything? "So . . . would you be ready to move back to Japan in two day? Less or more. Depends on you."

I wasn't sure if I had heard right but my knees felt weak and as if they were ready to buckle. My mind was spining and my breathing had become louder, as if I were searching for air I could bairley find attainable anymore. "J-Japan?" I asked, trying to understand.

He sighed out his worry as he stared at my expression. He was apperantly expecting my joy but it never came. "Yes." I wasn't happy . . . I was afraid. Afraid of what was waiting for me back in Japan, if there was anything waiting for me.

I had a long and memorable flashback of my friends, of people I knew, of the places I'd been to there. They all ame out fast and hard, hitting me in every one of my nerve points and in places I was all to familiar with. What had my friends been up to these years? Did they ever think of me? Did they even want me back? I never had talked to them but Akito had probably told them what Natsumi had heard from me.

I blushed when I went back to those words that seemed to hurt now. I wanted to take them back.

"Sana?" I snapped out of my world, a world I had hid in for a while now. "Y-yeah?"

"Are you alright? I thought you would be rubbing this in my face or at least be leaping around in joy." I shooked my head, building a smile that I knew wasn't entirely good enough for Rei.

I would be going back to Japan. Rei would't let me pass up this opportunity and I wouldn't either. I had to do this against all odds. I tried thinking about the pros and cons of the entire trajectory but all that kept coming were my friends and the places and Hayama . . . ecpeccially him.

I didn't feel like everything was crashing around me, I felt like I had suddenly been introduced to someone I already knew. It's like going back to a place you you haven't been to in centuries and feeling strange and confussed as if you had suddenly been placed in a maze. A maze you didn't know your way around anymore.

Japan had been the place I had grown up in and I new I would have to go back eventually because I had left too many things in the past. Too many things unresolved. Too many thing in the drawers of tommorow that I had expected to take out some other time, not as soon. And all that was raining down on me.

My drawers had burst open, raining down it's contains over me.

Without saying another word I smiled than limped back to my room feeling unstabke and capable of tipping over like a ship over the broad blue sea but I didn't. I felt strong and confident and happy. I felt what I wanted to feel; joy. I knew what I felt didn't go as well with my apperance but that didn't really matter.

Even though I wasn't sure how to express my happiness I felt it and even if I had I felt easier keeping it inside. It felt safer to keep my emossions inside, hidden from schrutinizing eyes that only know to judge. I felt keeping everything I felt away from everyone would keep me safe from hurt forever and if that's what my gut was telling me there would be no way around it.

I'd hide away my fears and joy forever because apperantly showing them had brought me only mistakes in the future. Mistakes I didn't want to make anymore. I saw Edward staring at me in curiosity but I still kept quiet.

"What happened?" he asked, still staring. "Nothing important." I lied. I hadn't remembered Edward in my brod ocean of memories but I knew he was still an important factor in my life. He had been a reason of my many motivations of moving on this whole year. I knew he was someone important now. But I didn't want to hurt him today. I smiled weakley and he smiled back.

"Oh! Where were we when I left?" I asked smugly, pointing at my work. He inched closer again. Grabbing me completely and throwing himself over me, laying me on the soft of my carpeted floor. The kisses had been the same as before but only deeper and more in urge because I was ecstatic.

And then I realized this was the only way of demonstrating how full of joy I really was. Because now was when I really showed how eager I was to make visible what I knew I was keeping inside. I wrapped myself around him again and went on with the streams of happiness.

* * *

Short, I know. But it was suppose to be. I might stay home during halloween because I might be relaxing at home right after I trick or treat and spending time with my sorority gals. I'm going to me writting again that day or maybe even sooner than that. I'm so excited for my new story! And even more with my atisipation for my novel because everything has been coming out so easily recently. Please Review!

- Karina galano

[ I can't wait till' christmas! I'm going to be writing so much more because Christmas just puts me in the mood and so does the cold and the holidays! I can't wait!] :)


	7. Chapter 7

**_Kiss The Rain_**

_"I've learned that good-byes will always hurt,  
__Pictures will never replace having been there,  
__Memories good and bad will bring tears,  
__And words can never replace feelings."_

_- Unknown_

**Chapter 6**

"Good morning." It was Edward by my door. I rendered him a smile of delight and he took it in with the same joy transcending in his eyes. He sat down on the computer chair on my desk while I got up from my bed and sat next to him.

He had been coming a lot early these past few days as if he couldn't wait any longer to come. As if he anticipated our lessons with anxiety. I couldn't say I didn't even though the reason was confusing. He would come every day and at one moment or another we would start kissing, pulling aside the tutoring for later.

This had become a routine I had no problem with and he knew this. I tried making it as evident as possible. I didn't regret it either, I didn't think I would be cheating on Hayama anymore because I knew he never loved me and he ended us the day he left. The day I thought I would never forget.

"What about thi-" He cut me off when I looked up, inching closer as he placed his warm lips against mine. When he backed away just a bit to witness my reaction I added, "It can wait." And pulled myself back to him, holding his neck forward to make sure he would back away again.

I began to get up from the seat, placing both my legs on either sides of him so I'd be seated on top of him in the small of the wooden computer chair. As soon as I knew it I was panting, deepening the kiss when I tilted my head to get more of him inside me. I felt his cool hand running through my back, lifting my shirt a bit to grip on the soft skin of it. His hand were going higher now and resting on my upper back, pulling me closer to him without a reason. Of course, there was no reason to any of this.

I placed one hand on his broad shoulder while the other gripped on the loose strands of his hair. He went to my cheek, to my chin, going across to kiss my jaw and then kissing my neck. I felt the hot of his tongue also joining his lips and bit my lip so I wouldn't make a sound even though I wasn't very successful.

"The work?" I asked right before his lips were blowing gracious kisses on my chest right where my heart was. It soothed it, mending the wounds that were still bleeding after two years. "You sure?" He whispered. I gripped his hair again, not responding, and held him there right over my heart. It's the place I needed him the most right now.

He continued as I felt the smirk within one of the many kisses he had been rendering to my heart. I exhailed because I hadn't breathed since he had begun on my chest then took in another loud inhail. "We should get back to the work, though." He pointed out, staring at me now intently but with a smile.

"Yeah, yeah." I responded in unimportance. I slowly back away from him, sitting myself back on my seat after I had kissed his lips one last time for today . . . probably.

I heard a knock on my door then grabbed a pencil and pretended I was writing. "Come in." It was Rei. "Sana, um, I have to speak with you." I sighed once, a deep exhale. What had I done now?

I got up from my seat, shooting a glance at Edward's worried expression than smiled at him in reassurance. I stepped out of my room, closing the door behind me. "What is it? Can't you see I'm studying?" It felt wrong to say that especially since I knew I hadn't been doing much studying at all.

"It's important." He sounded worried. "There's this really important job offering. It's a large acting company that wants to sign a contract with you. You'd have to make commercials for them for a whole year but the pay is good and you could finally get the car you've been wanting and pay off to buy back your mother's house. You'r going to need it for the future. It's what your mother wanted, remember? For you to buy off the house we lived in back than if we ever moved out."

I knew what he was talking about. But why did he sound so against it? It was obvious he wanted this because if not, he wouldn't bother telling me about it. But why was he acting so hesitant? He should be estatic. I knew he missed Mama as much as I did. I knew this.

"Their going to pay you so well that you could possibly retire by the age of twenty-one. That's how well taken care of your going to be if we do this." He wasn't even speaking to me anymore. He was arching his back against the ivory of the wall, staring at the ground with his hands in the pockets.

"Why aren't you happy about this? I'm not going to quit acting but I'd be beneficially secured for the rest of my life. There wouldn't have to be any worrying about me possibly not being as popular in the future and becoming the poor lost idol. I'd be secured for the rest of my life." I had to repeat that last sentence to him twice. He still seemed a little dizzy though.

"Your right." I still seemed unconvinced, though. He looked up at me and smiled wearily. "Besides. Your almost twently anyway." What did that have to do with anything? "So . . . would you be ready to move back to Japan in two day? Less or more. Depends on you."

I wasn't sure if I had heard right but my knees felt weak and as if they were ready to buckle. My mind was spinning and my breathing had become louder, as if I were searching for air I could barley find attainable anymore. "J-Japan?" I asked, trying to understand.

He sighed out his worry as he stared at my expression. He was apperantly expecting my joy but it never came. "Yes." I wasn't happy . . . I was afraid. Afraid of what was waiting for me back in Japan, if there was anything waiting for me.

I had a long and memorable flashback of my friends, of people I knew, of the places I'd been to there. They all came out fast and hard, hitting me in every one of my nerve points and in places I was all too familiar with. What had my friends been up to these years? Did they ever think of me? Did they even want me back? I never had talked to them but Akito had probably told them what Natsumi had heard from me.

I blushed when I went back to those words that seemed to hurt now. I wanted to take them back.

"Sana?" I snapped out of my world, a world I had hid in for a while now. "Y-yeah?"

"Are you alright? I thought you would be rubbing this in my face or at least be leaping around in joy." I shook my head, building a smile that I knew wasn't entirely good enough for Rei.

I would be going back to Japan. Rei wouldn't let me pass up this opportunity and I wouldn't either. I had to do this against all odds. I tried thinking about the pros and cons of the entire trajectory but all that kept coming were my friends and the places and Hayama . . . especially him.

I didn't feel like everything was crashing around me, I felt like I had suddenly been introduced to someone I already knew. It's like going back to a place you you haven't been to in centuries and feeling strange and confussed as if you had suddenly been placed in a maze. A maze you didn't know your way around anymore.

Japan had been the place I had grown up in and I new I would have to go back eventually because I had left too many things in the past. Too many things unresolved. Too many thing in the drawers of tomorrow that I had expected to take out some other time, not as soon. And all that was raining down on me.

My drawers had burst open, raining down it's contains over me.

Without saying another word I smiled than limped back to my room feeling unstable and capable of tipping over like a ship over the broad blue sea but I didn't. I felt strong and confident and happy. I felt what I wanted to feel; joy. I knew what I felt didn't go as well with my appearance but that didn't really matter.

Even though I wasn't sure how to express my happiness I felt it and even if I had I felt easier keeping it inside. It felt safer to keep my emotions inside, hidden from scrutinizing eyes that only know to judge. I felt keeping everything I felt away from everyone would keep me safe from hurt forever and if that's what my gut was telling me there would be no way around it.

I'd hide away my fears and joy forever because apperantly showing them had brought me only mistakes in the future. Mistakes I didn't want to make anymore. I saw Edward staring at me in curiosity but I still kept quiet.

"What happened?" he asked, still staring. "Nothing important." I lied. I hadn't remembered Edward in my brod ocean of memories but I knew he was still an important factor in my life. He had been a reason of my many motivations of moving on this whole year. I knew he was someone important now. But I didn't want to hurt him today. I smiled weakly and he smiled back.

"Oh! Where were we when I left?" I asked smugly, pointing at my work. He inched closer again. Grabbing me completely and throwing himself over me, laying me on the soft of my carpeted floor. The kisses had been the same as before but only deeper and more in urge because I was ecstatic.

And then I realized this was the only way of demonstrating how full of joy I really was. Because now was when I really showed how eager I was to make visible what I knew I was keeping inside. I wrapped myself around him again and went on with the streams of happiness.

* * *

Short, I know. But it was suppose to be. I'm going to be writing soon! I'm so excited for my new story! And even more with my anticipation for my novel because everything has been coming out so easily recently. Please Review!

- Karina Galano

[ I can't wait till' Christmas! I'm going to be writing so much more because Christmas just puts me in the mood and so does the cold and the holidays! I can't wait!] :)


	8. Chapter 8

Kiss The Rain

Two may talk together  
Under the same roof for many years,  
yet never really meet  
Nor understand one other as their truth,  
And two others at first speech  
are old friends.

- Author unknown

**Chapter 8**

After a week of sessions with my _tutor_... I had already packed my bags. I wouldn't tell him where I was going or when I'd come back but I'd leave him a note thanking him for everything and how important he's been for me. This morning I drank extra coffee for the nerves of seeing the place that had been my own once. The place I knew I'd always remember.

"Sana, you sure you don't want to say goodbye to Mr. Koizumi?" Rei asked me, hoping for an honest answer. I looked at him with some anger but said, "I'm sure." A taxi cab was waiting for us at the front of the house, the taxi man grabbing our luggage and stuffing them into the trunk.

"Let's go, Sana." Asako smiled, I had won her full trust by now, I was sure. Shimura was the last to get in the car, making sure everything was ready to be left. "Wait, hold on one second." I said, getting off and grabbing the note I would leave for Edward and sticking it to the door with some tape I had put behind it.

I went back to the car again, everyone eyeing me. "Ready?" Rei asked, saying the words as if preparing me for a flight to outer space. "Yeah." I replied with indifference then we were off. The buildings and places I had grown used to were passing by me like angry pictures running away from me. I didn't like it here, no matter how beautiful everything was it wasn't my home.

I'd see everything I'd been torn apart from; I'd see my friends again, I see the places I'd always be in again, I'd pass by the high school I used to go to, I'll see the places that held every moment I've shared with important people I've cared about in spite of everything, I'd be reunited the memories that still had a firm grip of me, I'd see Hayama...

The airport was crowded but we got the tickets we had reserved in enough time to catch the flight after some time of waiting for the walls to announce plane ticket number. They checked our bags and grabbed each one of our tickets and one that was done we were all soon walking up the staircase that led to the inside of the luxury plane.

I seated myself on the seat that was assigned to me, it was right next to the window. I was hoping for that. I heard a flight attendant remind us that we should stay seated at all times and keep our belts buckled and how to use air fussel in case of a crash.

I saw a young man seating himself next to me, he looked awfully familiar but I disregarded it. The possibilities of a crash weren't much and that barely phased me. I couldn't say the same for Shimura, though. She was biting at her nails furiously.

Once the plane was rising, I saw most people grip on their arm chairs but the rumble of the plane shaking barely phased me either. I was staring out the window, witnessing as everything slowly faded away and the clouds began obscuring the small building that looked like toys' now.

"Would you like a drink?" A young women asked me after two hours of deep thought. "Yes, please. Some water." My lips felt dry and my tongue was tasteless and dry, too. I hadn't realized till' now how thirsty I was. "Aren't you Sana Kurata?" I smiled, used to the reaction. "Yes." She smiled widely, excited at the sight of my presence.

My neighbor looked at me, stunned, as if he had seen a ghost from the past. "K-Kurata?" I heard him stutter. "Um... yes, that's me." I realized soon he hadn't paid much attention who he had sat next too. "Sana! Don't you remember me?" I looked deeper into the eyes of the man but still didn't see who I was staring at.

"I'm sorry. No, I don't." I told him, it was probably some fan hoping to get my attention. "It's alright, Sana. People tell me that all the time when they compare me to the old Tsyoshi." I had turned my head already but once I heard the man's name I remembered an old friend and turned my head as quickly as my throat had knotted.

I stared at him as he stared at myself with the same astonishment. He had changed so much. His face lacked the achene, he wasn't wearing any glasses because I noticed the clear contacts, and body-wise had had become more built. "T-Tsyoshi?" I asked, barley containing the tears but it was working, my fight. "Yes, Sana. It's me."

I knew I wouldn't win, I came closer to him and took him into my arms, embracing him with all my might. I'd missed him so much I didn't care if I was crying, I let the tears spill over his shirt. He hugged me back but not as heart-felt as I had. I was probably exaggerating things again.

"You've changed, Sana. You look a lot more grown than before." I smiled, blushing. "I saw your movie with Aya. And your commercials are truly amazing. I cried in your movie, guess I'm still a wimp." I laughed, drying the tears that weren't needed anymore. "And Aya? How has she been?" She blushed a little.

"Me and Aya got married a year ago. She's pregnant with a baby girl. She'll be due in four months." Things had changed since I was gone, I knew this but why was change hurting so much right now? Maybe, because I had been wanting things to be the way they always had been with my friends before I left. But things moved on and I should have expected that. I hadn't readied myself for it.

"Wow. Things have changed then, huh?" He nodded with a smile. "How about Mami?"

"She's great! She's off in college, though. She comes to visit every now and then but it's not the same as before." I faked a smile. "Yeah, well, nothings the same as before." He nodded again in understanding. "How's Fuka?" He looked serious this time, deliberating his answer, looking back and fourth at his watch a few times. "Fuka's Good." Was all he said.

I wanted to ask him for one more person but wasn't sure if it was appropriate at the moment seeing how things had left off before. But I had to ask after a few minutes, the curiosity was eating at me. I knew he was expecting it but it still caught him off guard. "What about Hayama?"

He took his time more than ever and somehow I didn't know whether to ask again or just keep quiet. "Hayama's been lost recently. I don't see him as much as before and his family doesn't talk to him as much after he moved out. He keeps in touch with them but... nothings like before." My throat hurt, the tears weren't falling, my throat was just aching.

Things had all changed and I would come to except it eventually but I knew that I was allowed to be in pain because everything I had had been bomboarded away from me in ways I knew weren't fair. I didn't deserve to have missed out on everything my friend had done and accomplished. I wanted to make time go back and somehow have run away from Rei or done something to stay by the things I wanted most but I knew I was only human and things would never go back if I'd give my life for it.

"I see..." He knew what I was thinking and quickly came to comfort me. "I have his address..." He looked like he would regret what he was doing but I was too deep in thoughts to think into that. "If you want to see your old friend I could give it to you..." I smiled but it still wasn't enough. I wanted what i had back and I knew that an address wouldn't fix that. I nodded once and rested my head on his shoulder the rest of the flight.

Turns out he had been coming back from a job interview in Phoenix to work a business corporation in Japan.

After a couple more hours the flight was coming to an end, my heart beginning to beat faster and filled with anxiety of what awaited me on the outside of this. I didn't even want to look out the window. I wanted it too be more real than that.

We both stood up when it was told and headed for the exsit. Once I was at the staircase again, I looked over at the place that was my home and felt the tears but the wind dried them up as soon as they had fallen. "Come on, Sana!" I heard Tsyoshi call and I continued down the stairs, letting those behind me continue.

We found our lugadge inside after Shimura, Rei, and Asako greeted Tsyoshi. Rei had always liked him so he barely made a face, if if had been anyone else, I knew how he'd be.

"I can give you guys a ride." Tsyoshi offered but Rei denied it, saying that a cab was already on it's way for us. "Rei, I'm gonna go with him because I really want to go see Aya." I said, knowing he couldn't say anything to not allow it. "Alright." He answered. I smiled at Tsyoshi and we were on our way.

The car ride filled my with nostalgic memories and reminded me of the reasons why I had missed Japan so much... every memory came back to be, even the ones I hadn't remembered of barley thought about. Once we were nearing a neighborhood I knew we were almost at his home.

He parked the car in a paved parking space and grabbed his keys, stepping out of the car and I followed suit. "I like the house." I commplimented and he smiled widely. "Soon there will be a little girl living here, Sana. I'm so happy!" I thought he was jumping but it had been my mind playing tricks on me.

He opened the front door and I felt my heart being to beat faster, I had missed Aya so much. "Tsyoshi! Your Back! You missed you and I baked some cookies and cak-" She cut off after she kissed him, noticing me come from behind. Her eyes almost bulged out at the sight of me. "S-Sana?" I nodded once, smiling as wide as I could, my teeth flashing. "Sana!"

She screeched one last time before running towards me and embracing me as hard as she could but the lump in her stomach was making the hug difficult to return. I was afraid I'd hurt her. "Wow." I said with my hands on her tummy. "She's beautiful already!" She laughed at me and pulled me towards her again.

"I can't believe you hadn't come her for so long, Sana! I thought I'd never see you again. Oh! And i saw your movie. With all that success I thought you had forgotten us." I almost laughed but instead I gave her a warm smirk. "Never."

We went on with discussing how our lives had been the first day we had part separated from start to end. She told me her parents were delighted with the news of the baby and how it had changed her perspective of life completely. Everything was falling from our tongues.

"You haven't seen Hayama around much anymore, have you?" She went serious instantly. "Nope. He moved out of his parents how a week before he turned eighteen and at first we kept in touch everyday but soon days turned into weeks and keeping in touch then turned to months and, well, we haven't seen or talked to him for a year, even if we do know where he lives."

I nodded a few times, feeling the knots in my throat come back with an old pain. "You want to go see him, don't you..." She asked me, trailing off in thought. I didn't even speak, I only nodded. She exhaled some suppressed concern. "He's a mess, Sana." She confessed to me, lacking the details.

"What? Why?" She sighed again. "No one really know. He's just gotten worse. Fuka is the only one that actually sees him a lot. I think..." She had to look at my reaction but then continued, "I think... I know that they've had a relationship. Not a solid one, though. I mean, going to bed sort of thing. I heard she got pregnant five months ago but Mami told me she aborted. I still talk to Mami all the time."

So... Fuka had been the one with Hayama... that explained Tsyoshi's reaction towards my questioning of her. "I see..." And now I could barely breath. It felt like one of my best friends had betrayed me. Betrayal felt like death in another way of the meaning...

"I'm sorry. Do you want me to give you the address?" She asked, taking out a blank piece of paper, writing something down, making the decision for me. "Maybe it'll help you." I felt my hands tremble as I stretched my hand out for the paper hat almost felt like I was reaching out toward him in my imagination. I gripped at it firmly, hoping he'd come alive but I knew it was a hallucination.

"It's not too far from here... you can walk if you don't want me to take you." She knew seeing him was the best thing even if I wasn't sure coming back to Japan had made anything any better. Maybe if I would've stayed in Phoenix I would have never had to decide for anything and only forget...

I didn't have the strength to fake anything so I stood up, hugged her, and began on my way out the door and into the rain that had begun without my noticing. I knew every direction there was here in Japan but somehow it felt like the world was on my shoulders, pushing me down and suffocating me with it's pressure.

I read the address a few times, not sure why I was rereading it so continuously but nothing had rarely made sense these days...

I stared at the ivory house, imagining it was falling on me, and in my conscience I knew it was. I felt everything turn in a funny way while my eyes were beginning to see black dots and obscuring my vision. I was feeling so dizzy and disoriented I could pass for a drunk.

I was at the door, staring at it as if I had to run away as fast as I could and never have to know if he would've been my friend again or if he would want me to leave and never come back. One thing I knew was concrete; the truth, no matter what, would hurt in some way.

I stood there, deliberating on whether to knock or run and never come back but before I'd even come close to deciding I saw the door open, a pair or Hazel eyes catching a glimpse of me and then I knew I'd fall apart, I had to run...

I began to tremble when I saw the figure stare at me intently and like he'd never seen another human being before. I knew what was coming, he would tell me to leave like he'd seen an alien. Before I heard the rejection I turned and ran as fast as I could, stepping into the rain and hoping somehow I could become it and only be water which only had one purpose; to be drank or fallen from the sky.

I knew the water in my face wasn't the rain, they were tears, tears I had held only for him. I kept running, watching everything passing by me in a blur. I wanted to run somewhere I wouldn't have to think but before I thought of anything else a pair of arms were holding a tight grip of me. I tried breaking free but my efforts useless so I fell to the wet of the concrete ground screaming out some of the things my tears hadn't relieved.

I looked up at the figure that was now resting on it's knees next to me and he witnessed me suffer. "A-Bu-Haya-Fu-No..." I couldn't talk, I'd become an incapacitated human being. I started hitting the ground than began to hit his chest. I knew it didn't hurt him because I knew my strength was slowly fading... fading...

I yelled into his shirt, gripping at the wet cotton, then as hard as I could, held him into me the same way I had been picturing too for so long. I felt his arms wrap around me with the same force and we were both laying there, kissing not at ourselves, but the rain.

* * *

I worked so hard!! Please, Review! And let me know what you think of this! Thanks =]

- Karina galano


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